FAQ - Isabella Frappier
page-template,page-template-full_width,page-template-full_width-php,page,page-id-342,theme-bridge,bridge-core-1.0.4,woocommerce-no-js,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,qode_grid_1300,footer_responsive_adv,columns-4,qode-theme-ver-18.0.9,qode-theme-bridge,disabled_footer_bottom,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-5.7,vc_responsive



How can working with you help me enjoy my sex life?

In my 1:1 work, I hold space for you during the transition from a default sex life to one of your own design. I am here to bear witness to your journey, to support and encourage you, and provide thoughtful reflections and advice.

I do provide resources, exercises, guided practices, information and education as needed, but I truly see my work as more supporting, inspiring, reflecting rather than teaching. I don’t think anyone can teach you about your own sexuality, or heal you, or be your guru. But I can help you become your own teacher, healer, and guru.

Are you the right support person for me?

Well, only you know that. Just like finding the right therapist, personal trainer, or the perfect yoga class, choosing the right mentors for your sexual liberation journey is a very personal decision. Most clients of mine reflect to me that it was my specific energy that drew them to work with me, so it’s up to you to decide if I’m the right match for you. Here’s what makes me a little different.

A lot of coaches, guides, therapists, healers, etc, well they rely on keeping their clients just blocked enough for them to keep coming back, but that goes against everything I believe in.

I work with abundance, not with lack, and ultimately I’m working with you to help you not need me anymore. I will not be your guru, I will help you find your own inner guru. You are your greatest teacher.

Can I learn to enjoy sex?!

I feel you, I didn’t used to enjoy sex either. While now I am living the sex life of my dreams, I wasn’t always this way.

I spent years and years of my adult life in sexual shame. Living in sexual relationships where my kindness and sensuality was drained dry by my partners. Where I looked and acted the part during sex, but I felt nothing. It was performative sex. I wanted my partners to have a good time, and I wanted to look good during it. I was outsourcing my sexual experience, not to mention my sexual worth, onto my partners. A dangerous thing to do.

One day I finally said “I’m sick of having bad sex!” and decided to do something about it. Because honestly, even the sex I was having with myself was bad! It’s embarrassing to admit now, but I was doing the classic move of turning a vibrator on, and turning my heart and mind off. While I still sometimes need to just scratch the itch like that, I now practice mindful masturbation as much as possible.

Why do you admit all this embarrassing, sad stuff about yourself online?

Because it’s one of the reasons that I’m good at my job. I’ve been in the trenches of a bad sex life, and I know how to get out. I can help you have the sex life of your dreams too!

I have spent years studying, exploring, experimenting, and most importantly, reclaiming my sexuality. I now live a vibrant, juicy, pleasure-filled life, and have helped thousands of women and non-binary folks, and even a few men, reclaim their sexuality. I have watched in awe as each client has bloomed in every other area of their life after stepping into their erotic power.

This work is not always easy or fun. Though luckily, it often is. But it’s also a lot of unpacking sex-negative beliefs, and unraveling and healing old wounds and trauma. It’s about exploring your own heart, mind, and body, and learning how to love your sexuality again.

Is this for me?

Do you want a better sex life? Do you want to feel more pleasure in the bedroom, and in all areas of your life? Do you want to develop new, powerful ways of neural programming and manifestation? Do you want a deeper connection to yourself and perhaps to a partner too? Do you want to finally enjoy sex?!

Do you feel too tired, burnt out, drained and depleted to do anything about it? Do you yearn to be ravished and sexually adored? Do you look at your body with pain or shame? Do you masturbate by turning your vibrator on, and your brain off?

It doesn’t have to be this way! But it’s hard to make the changes by yourself. I’m here to support you. I call on my years of sexuality and wellness education and intuitive energy skills, to help educate and demystify the blocks in your body and your life, and help orient you towards your sensual sovereignty.

I can help you develop the sexual, mental, physical, spiritual and emotional tools you need.  We will work together to help balance your body, mind, and heart, and to integrate your goals into your reality. Tap into your sacred sensuality and learn to flow. If you’d like, I can also help you to heal past and present womb trauma, and connect you back to your power source.

Here are some of the most common reasons clients reach out to me:

  • Wanting to experience orgasm, or increase the quantity or quality of their orgasms and sexual pleasure
  • Can’t get out of their heads during sex
  • Feeling confused about their sexuality or sensuality
  • Wanting to have more fulfilling romantic relationships
  • Healing sexual shame, trauma, pain, baggage, etc.
  • Getting real information about sex
  • Safely learning about BDSM and Kink
  • Wondering about Sex Magic
  • Learning more about their menstrual cycles

Do you only work with women?

I allocate 80% of my client load for women, femmes, and non-binary folks, as either individual clients or as couples. I keep 20% open for male-identifying people, as either individual clients or as couples.

What on earth does Erotic Anarchist mean?!

When people here the term “anarchy”, they think it means chaos! However, it actually refers to the idea that without a governing force, each individual will be in charge of themselves and behave in authentic and incredible ways.


I believe we have been stripped of our sexual power, and so in helping clients to feel empowered in their bodies and reclaim their sexual sovereignty, I celebrate them becoming their own governing bodies. No longer ruled by a sex life by default, they have one by design!

What does working with you look like?

Firstly, you won’t be figuring out your sexuality alone anymore. I wish I had an expert to help me when I was on my sexual liberation journey. Instead, I became what I needed most.

Together we will explore your desires in and out of the bedroom, unpack sex-negative beliefs, examine your current and past relationships, and the relationship you have with your body. We will look at sexual blocks and baggage that is holding you back from living your best life.

I will meet you where you currently are on your journey to sexual freedom, regardless of where that is, and hold space for you as we work together through the next steps. I will ask you thoughtful questions and provide insightful advice and suggestions to support you in dismantling your negative sexual beliefs, and rebuilding new, more nourishing ones.  

Together we will explore ways to feel more present during sex and in life, we will discuss how to bring more mindfulness and pleasure into your life, and how to feel safe and empowered when embodying your sensuality. I will hold space to support you in working through sex-negative past and present beliefs and ideas, that have been holding you back from feeling sexually powerful.

Perhaps most importantly, I will hold you accountable. I will hold you accountable as the sole captain on the voyage of your sexual empowerment. I will challenge you to prioritize your self-love and self-care. I will be your champion. Because I believe you deserve pleasure. I believe you deserve to feel as powerful and brilliant as you are.

What is feminist BDSM?

In my 1:1 work with clients, I often incorporate the foundational principles of BDSM into my work. I believe that the basic aspects of BDSM can be extremely beneficial to anyone who would like to have a healthy sex life, whether partnered or solo, kinky or vanilla (non-BDSM).


As I see it, the building blocks of BDSM are:


  • Clear and kind communication
  • Physical and emotional boundaries
  • Informed, enthusiastic consent
  • Clear expectations
  • Fun exploration
  • Aftercare


Some clients specifically seek me out because of my experience with BDSM and want to safely learn how to incorporate kink in their own lives. Others aren’t interested in kink at all, but enjoy how much the foundational elements of BDSM can improve their non-kinky sex lives.


The most common questions I’m asked about BDSM is “is BDSM feminist?”, to which I answer a resounding “YES!”. When your needs are being met and addressed equally in a relationship, and everyone feels safe and heard, and is having a lovely time, then playing with BDSM is feminist. In fact, BDSM couples often report improved levels of trust, excellent communication skills, and clear boundaries.